You be the judge: should my girlfriend stop hitting the snooze button? | Life and style


The prosecution: Harry

Regina sets between six and seven alarms each morning and ‘snoozes’ each one

I’m fundamentally opposed to the snooze button but my girlfriend, Regina, loves it. I don’t snooze because it’s not enjoyable. You’re left thinking about the alarm going off again; you’re neither fully asleep nor awake. Why not just set it and get up when it goes off?

Regina sets between six and seven alarms each morning and “snoozes” each one. She likes a gradual way of getting up whereas I prefer to do it immediately. I’m awake on the first alarm. I stay over at Regina’s four times a week and I have to adapt. I lie there in bed, waiting. Sometimes I reach over her to turn off an alarm, which is a lot of effort. I often feel as though I’m simply an extension of her alarm clock.

The snooze button impacts our morning routine. There have been a few times when alarms have been ringing hours later, while she’s showering or downstairs. It can be crazy. It also means I never know when to make my coffee. I like to make our coffees at the same time, but I can never tell when Regina will actually wake up. Sometimes I will have to wait anywhere between 15 and 45 minutes before I get my coffee.

On her phone, Regina has every alarm she’s ever set, as she never deletes them. I find that wild. The ringtone is also the default iPhone one, a loud clanging noise which is really aggressive. Regina claims to be a morning person but she’s not. A morning person is someone who doesn’t need multiple alarms and gets up straight away, ready to embrace the day. That’s me.

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There’s also the issue of how she makes me feel if I’m getting up earlier than her: I’m accused of being functional, efficient and boring, when really I’m just organised.

If Regina was able to get up when the first alarm went off, we could use the spare time to have a coffee and chat instead of snoozing until the last second before she has to rush to join an online meeting. If we want an extra half an hour in bed, we should set the alarm for later and get up then. In my book, those are the only two options.

The defence: Regina

Harry needs to relax and embrace the snooze time. I enjoy it and it means I won’t be late for things

I am a morning person. I like the start of the day. I like to get up and be productive. It’s just that the period before 8am is really difficult for me.

When Harry suggests setting the alarm half an hour later and getting up then, he’s missing the point. I don’t want to maximise the amount of time I sleep. For me the period of snoozing is enjoyable in itself. I like to snooze for around half an hour. I like to wake up gently and process what I’m going to do that day. I’m semiconscious. It’s a nice experience.

I set seven alarms every day and will snooze all of them, but it’s a necessary process for me to get up. I’ve had a few close misses with things in the past – that’s why I love setting multiple alarms.

Recently I woke up 15 minutes before a hospital appointment and it had been scheduled for months. Snoozing is great as it buys me extra time, but if you don’t set enough alarms, then sleeping can be dangerous.

Harry says he doesn’t recognise the nice things about snoozing but I have sometimes seen him fall back asleep at the weekends.

He is very strategic and organised, so he doesn’t get my point that it’s nice to ease yourself into the day. Sometimes when we wake up, Harry will say “I’m awake now” in a very instructive tone when I’m snoozing, implying that I have to wake up with him. But if it’s not my time I won’t get up. I set fewer alarms when Harry stays over, so he’s probably right when he says he is my alarm clock; I do rely on him a bit more.

I’m organised, but probably not as much as Harry. He’s never late for things whereas I usually always am.

I can try and set fewer alarms when Harry is with me, but I don’t trust myself to rely on just one or two when he’s not there. Harry needs to relax and embrace the snooze time and make good use of it.

He’s not missing out on the day because the alarm goes off and we snooze through it before we need to get up – that’s the whole point.

The jury of Guardian readers

Should Regina ditch her multiple alarms?

I’m on Team Regina, though I enjoy the image of Harry’s rage growing with each clang of the alarm. Harry seems fixated on Regina’s habits and implies that she is lacking in organisation skills. He could ask her to find a less intrusive alarm. Even simpler – just get out of bed, Harry.
Emily, 37

Regina is not guilty. Everyone’s morning routine is unique. If Harry cares for Regina, he should respect her ritual and accommodate something his girlfriend values. If Harry wants a coffee he should make one!
Ewan, 55

I’m with Harry on this one – nothing induces a reaction like an alarm clock, so to hear it multiple times in one morning is enough to drive anyone up the wall. I recommend he try a judicious application of his cold feet, or a theatrical turn-over-and-steal-the-duvet manoeuvre. Harry could just get up and exit quietly to have a coffee in peace – but where’s the fun in that?
Sophie, 29

Repeated alarms would annoy me too but Harry doesn’t have to be a martyr. He can get up and enjoy a leisurely coffee while Regina snoozes. But Regina should accept that a truly organised morning person wouldn’t behave like that.
Linda, 60

Harry needs to be more understanding as Regina’s snoozes are part of her wake-up routine. Harry can always get out of bed on the first alarm and start the day without her. Regina could swap the clangy iPhone alarm though.
James, 29

You be the judge

So now you can be the judge, click on the poll below to tell us: should Regina stop relying on the snooze button?

We’ll share the results on next week’s You be the judge.

The poll closes Thursday 10 February, 9AM GMT

Last week’s result

We asked if Alicia ate the chocolate biscuits too quickly, before her partner, Hans, could get to them.

50% of you said no – Alicia is innocent
50% of you said yes – Alicia is guilty

Have a disagreement you’d like settled? Or want to be part of our jury? Click here

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